Quick, Somebody Get Bill Donohue on the Horn!
Why settle for a dry, tasteless cracker, when you can have a tasty Cheeto? A woman in Missouri has discovered a Cheeto that looks like Jesus on the Cross.
Amazingly, this isn’t the first time such a thing has happened. Back in March, a Methodist youth director in Texas found another Cheeto that looks like Jesus (a paraplegic Jesus at that, but the less said the better). The man displays this not-so-holy relic, which he dubs “Cheesus”, in his office bookcase. Classy!
Refreshingly, neither of these discoverers claims that his or her sacred snack food is endowed with miraculous properties, nor are they threatening legal action/physical violence against those who don’t take their claims seriously and treat the cheese puff with reverence.
Still, it makes me wonder how things would have been different had some Cheetos been lying around during the Last Supper: And Jesus took the Cheetos, and cracked the bag, saying,”Take, eat; this is my body. See? This one kind of looks like me if you hold it up to the light. Judas, remember that whole me-on-the-toast fiasco? You were such a putz.” Then He took the Big K Cola, and gave thanks, saying “Drink ye all of it.” But the disciples heard not what the Lord said after that, as there was much crunching and burping.